Blind like a brick
There has been a severe misunderstanding, by me, about 30 years ago. See, or not, I was trying my darndest, to belong. And to fit and agree, to behold and be seen. That requires myself, to also feel. And I fuckin' don't. I am oblivious to all the hands that reach out to me, I cannot perceive, comprehend or assess the reaching out in simple human interactions. I am drenched in attention and oration, and I am none the wiser. I am chasing the soft embrace of acknowledgement while already being stuck in the bosom of companionship. I am wishing so hard to be something I already am. There is no sting of loss of connection when it goes bad. Can't lose sight of things you never spotted. And I never stopped chasing, the panic never stopped, the sense of being just out of reach, and it falling away. Never being able to realize I am already knee deep in what I am seeking. There has been a severe misunderstanding, by me, about 30 years ago. I can be loved, I can share my heart in an ...